{August 21, 2012}   Back again

Well, it’s been a long while since my last post. A looooong while. I love to write, but when I find when I go to blog, I completely freeze and have no idea what to say. But, again, with some coaxing from family, I’ve decided to try again.

In my last post, I talked about getting ready to deploy. And here I sit, over a year later, a veteran of war. Granted, it was an easy deployment, but it’s still a little surreal to think that I have actually been deployed to a war zone. Never in a million years did I think that would ever happen. As I said, it was an easy deployment, for the most part. Nothing notable happened in the region we were in, thankfully. On a personal side, it was the hardest year of my life. Not ready to really write it all down so I have to physically see it, but for those that know, they are aware of what I am referring to. Crazy year. Full of ups and major downs, of which I hope to never have to repeat. But I’m thankful for the things that I have gone through. I have learned many lessons about myself. Who I am, what I can survive….hindsight is a crazy thing.

It’s now time to close the chapter that has been my life for the last 2 years in Germany. I made some amazing friends, had a ton of fun and learned A LOT about myself. Gained a lot through relationships, and fell madly in love. Experienced an immense amount of loss and pain, but that’s all apart of life, right? Decisions were made, chances taken. All on a hope and a prayer. And with one exception, there isn’t one thing I would change about the last two years. It was amazing, though heartbreaking at times. But that’s ok. I’m still reeling from some of the risidual heartbreak, and probably always will. But I know that I can survive anything that life has to throw my way. Despite wrong decisions or happy circumstances, ever situation makes me stronger and eventually I will get to a point where someone will come along and not break my heart any longer.

Now that I am leaving (well, have left) Germany, my next duty station will be in Washington. I am so excited to get there and start my new journey in life. I don’t know why, but I am feeling very optimistic about going there. Normally, I hate change. Despise it. But after recent heartbreak and being let down yet again, I am so ready. Just done with the past and ready to move forward. I am elated. I know there are good things in store for me along this crazy winding road. And since I know myself, I know there will be no off ramps or slowing down. I am full force hauling ass to where it leads me. Don’t know the destination, but I know wherever it ends up I will look back and see that I was in control of the ride. I did the things I did in the pursuit of happiness no mater the recourse or consequence.

In spite of it all, the love, the loss, the happiness, the heartache, I love my life. It’s really not that bad. So here’s to starting over, yet again. New duty station, new outlook, new blog…maybe a new me.


jill says:

Even though we don’t know each other, I feel very intrigued by this post and your journey. 🙂 I’m excited for you and all the new things you’re going to be discovering and going through. I look forward to following your blog along the way. And good luck in Washington!!

KC says:

YAY!! I’m glad I talked you into blogging again! I will bug you so you keep blogging too – so don’t slack! 🙂 Praying for you on your new journey and I am excited for you too! I’m glad you are feeling optimistic because great things will come. And I am glad you are in the states again! We love you!!

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